Title: Actual Newspaper Headlines

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming

Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During Murder Trial

Reason for More Bear Sightings: More Bears

Actor Sent to Jail for Not Finishing Sentence

Tiger Woods Play With Own Balls, Nike Says

Fireproof Clothing Factory Burns to Ground

Astronomers See Colorful Gas Clouds Bubble Out of Uranus

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Sex Offender Says Registering Will Hurt His Reputation

Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Jane Fonda to Teens: Use Head to Avoid Pregnancy

Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be "Extremely Painful"

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-Free

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Man Tries Armed Robbery with Knife in Gun Store

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25

Air Board to Study Fast Food Emissions

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

State Prisons to Replace Easy Open Locks

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

British Study Finds Less Traffic When Roads Close

Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

Gators to Face Seminoles with Peters Out

Young Marines Make Tasty Christmas Treats

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Hirohito's Body Moved

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Stud Tires Out

Air Head Fired

Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives